I am out of the woods, just passed the marginal scrub, I’m almost in the clearing looking out to the great view of opportunities.

Our minds now are an amalgamation of all the days before, plus any worries for the future. Each of us has different mindsets, which pave out how we envisage and interpret the world and react to it. (1)

My mindset has been a roller-coaster. I’ve had both a blessed and turbulent life, and because of my trauma, this has made me both determined for better yet hindered at times by its defence mechanisms.

Fundamentally I believe now I have the starting’s of a growth mindset, or is this too modest? After all that has happened, I am determined to achieve a better life and I know I have it within me to achieve this. What has happened cannot be all there is.

Over the years, I’ve jumped from place to place to try and find “what I’m looking for”. But recently, I am now looking within. I have the determination to achieve, to learn, and with that, I can develop skill. Thus, building and improving on what came before.

I used to believe everything needed to be perfect; if it wasn’t, then I was a failure. Now, I believe “it” has to be the best “it” can be and that I can be the best I can be. These are 2 very different beliefs; the latter removes the stress that is put upon to achieve, yet also gives direction for change and improvement.

I am not embarrassed now, if something doesn’t look perfect/great in my designs or drawings, as long as I have put in the valid efforts and have a good understanding of what and why, then that’s enough for now. I also do not use this as an excuse to not do what’s required, I try my hardest with what I have. This builds my knowledge, skills and confidence for further growth.

I once read a poem called “You are enough”. Written about a grandma telling her granddaughter that what she was, was enough. Enough, doesn’t have to be the scrapings of the barrel, it is enough to get to where you need to go next.

I still fight with my demons, my body and mind are still a little tired from the past. As a lot of us, I probably need to practice resting better. However, I will not wallow. Some days I get anxious and struggle to create. I have learnt however that if I just do something, just a little, its a start and before I know it the whole day has passed and I’m a better person for it. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the mountain that is ahead of me, but I’m learning to change my view, I break my journey down and slowly I take little steps, so soon ( maybe after a few false horizons as every great mountain has) I will conquer the summit. At times I second guess my ability, I doubt I am good enough, I rate myself against other, but then I check in with someone, and they remind me I am doing the best I can and with a little nudge of encouragement I am on my merry way again.

I am out of the woods, just passed the marginal scrub, I’m almost in the clearing looking out to the great view of opportunities before me but I keep getting snagged on that blasted thorny bush. Only a short distance now and I will be through into pastured new.

Where are those secateurs?

What Mindset Is and Why It Matters (verywellmind.com)